No workey.

For those of you who are unaware, we unfortunately caught the short end of the stick on our IVF cycle. No pregnancy and no babies - just a bunch of doctor visits, daily shots, and good ol' fashioned American cash down the tubes (no pun intended).


The truth is it's absolutely devastating. It's exhausting - physically and emotionally for both husband and wife. It consumes you - day in and day out - it's all you think about - both work schedules and intimate lives are governed by alarm clock reminders for shots and doctor visits. Money is no object - you shell it out daily like you own the US Mint, being a crack or meth addict would be far cheaper I'm sure.


I wish I could somehow describe it. Those of you who have been through it can understand. The good news is that we can temporarily take a break and lift our heads out of the drowning sea of infertility to briefly catch a breath of air. We'll likely begin our next IVF cycle in a few months, depending on how Kate's body recovers from the recent overload of medications and hormones.


Here's a quick rundown of how the whole thing played out: We started out with a 60%+ chance of getting pregnant (based on my sperm being awesome and Katie being a young skinny white girl). By the time the embryos were transferred we were looking at a 45% take home baby rate (due to the poor quality of the embryos). Wow. 45%. Seriously? That's not even good enough for an "F" in high school. I could flip a coin or blindly throw a dart at a wall full of balloons at the county fair and have better odds. I swear you should be able to buy a higher percentage than that - unfortunately, infertility is one thing that money cannot buy or fix. Anyway, we transferred two embryos then went on 4 days of bed rest and prayed for the best. Even though I looked at and talked to the embryos daily (through Kate's belly button) they didn't stick. And that's pretty much it.


Here are a couple of highlights from our first IVF cycle:


1. I got to draw awesome tatoos on Kate's behind a couple of times a week as a reminder of where to give her the shots.
2. Katie drew tattoos on my behind so we could match.
3. We got pictures of our embryos.
4. I fertilized 15 hamster eggs.
5. Kate got to take some Valium.
6. We got to eat at Cafe Rio after the bed rest.
7. I got to talk to our babies every day through Kate's belly button - apparently they weren't listening most of the time.
8. Katie was pregnant with twins for at least 15 minutes.
9. Kate got to experience hot flashes every night because of the meds - our house was like an igloo and she thought we were in the Sahara desert.
10. Our sharps container is nearly full.
11. We shared with the doctors a great view of Kate's uterus and other reproductive organs on a regular basis.


Thanks to all of our family and friends - we appreciate your prayers on our behalf. So, we'll keep our fingers crossed and hope for better results next time!

PS - If you comment and guess the exact answer to the poll on the right you will get an awesome prize. Jen Cheney - you are responsible to send the prize.

How would you like your eggs? Spermbled please.

Most of you are probably wondering where the heck we've been. Well, to be completely honest with you we've been mostly at the doctor. What would we be doing at the doctor you ask? We've been learning all about sperm, eggs, ovaries, follicles, tubes, and the reproductive system in general.

In fact, we have pretty much become experts on the subject. If any of you would like a free lesson on infertility feel free to come over to our house and I'll teach you all about it. In fact, I'll even fire up the grill, cook you up a steak, pour you a glass of lemonade, and we'll make an evening out of it.

You see, after trying to get pregnant for over 3 years we have started the process of invitro fertilization. For those of you who are wondering what the heck that means I'll briefly explain - you see, the doctors are going to take some eggs out of Kate, then they'll take my sperm (well, I'll give it to them), then they'll scramble the sperm and eggs in a lab (resulting in Spermbled Eggs*) then put the embryos inside of Kate and hope for the best.

A lot of you are probably thinking to yourselves "Wow. Isn't there something else they can do besides IVF**?" Well, over the past couple of years we've done all sorts of examinations, medications, inseminations***, shots, pokeys, prodees, testees (no pun intended), and everything else. So, here we are, riding the emotional roller coaster of IVF. We're excited and nervous - learning the true meaning of faith, hope and especially patience.

If all goes as planned, the embryos (or spermbled eggs) will be placed in Kate's uterus during the last week of August. Until then it's 3 shots a day for Kate and a few pills a day for me. I'll admit, it's not the most romantic way to make a baby, but at this point we've got no other choice.

Well, we know that we haven't really told anyone about this stuff, so a lot of you probably have questions for us. We also know that sometimes it seems awkward to ask questions for fear of becoming too personal. At this point nothing is too personal anymore, so if any of you have questions feel free to post them in the comments and we'll answer them. If you don't have questions and you want to comment on something else that's awesome, that's ok too (just make sure it's good - no stupid comments please). Or, if you just want to come over for some steak and a glass of lemonade, that's fine too.

Also, we will give you a prize if you answer the question on our poll correctly.****

*Spermbled Eggs is a completely fake term that I made up. If you actually thought it was a real term from the doctors then you really should take me up on that offer to come over and have a glass of lemonade and that free lesson on infertility.

**IVF stands for Invitro Fertilization for those of you who might not be very good at acronyms.

***Inseminations are awesome. For any of you guys out there who might be embarrassed about it I can tell you that after you do it a bunch of times it becomes second nature. I'm totally a pro at it - if you want details you're going to have to take me up on the offer for the steak and lemonade.

****We may or may not actually give you a prize, participate at your own risk.